Race 8. 4th time Round at Crazy Port Brillet. 7th June 2009

The race at Port Brillet has always been a hell hot race but this year it was far FAR from hot. Hail half way through the bike leg gave me harrowing flashbacks to Saint cyr and sent Herman Landermine back to his car to put on a vest…mid race!!!!! I warmed up in my wetsuit, considered swimming with a vest on and hid in Laurent Suppis van for as long as I could. But there was a brief parting of the black clouds, and we all entered the water without getting wet...Insert stupid "hope you didnt get wet in the swim" joke here --- I swallowed a heap of water and got that ‘you will die’ feeling about 200m into the swim so actually stopped and pumped out a little breaststroke (a skill I have seen perfected in every lane of every French pool, without fail). I regained the ‘you have a little air in your lungs’ feeling soon after and recommenced the race, all be it in 30th position. It took me quite a while to get to the front of the swim and longer after the race to explain to everyone I had passed what had happened. On the bike I soon found myself alone in the lead. There was a lead car with microphones on its roof blaring out some horrible music, which was not encouraging to get close to, but was in no means a contributing factor in my less than ideal ride time. The hail storm which felt not unlike trying to catch salt crystals in your eyes, while the rest of you lycra clad body is subjected to a sandblasting treatment that would bring back the hull of the Titanic to new, certainly halted my forward progress. I was actually yelling at some of the 5 spectators ‘you are crazy’, but on reflection they had umbrellas and I was the one with overflowing shoes. I popped my bike in its transition spot with a 1 min lead over Antoine Le soz and did the whole run with a similar margin. It must be mentioned that I was warned the forest section of the race was a little muddy, and it did not disappoint. It was so slippery I felt like I was in a cartoon with my legs going at 200km/hr and me going 2km/hr. Thankfully everyone had the same impression, no shoes were lost in the deep stuff and therefore, no time was lost. I must say it has been 4 years of wins here for me and I think back with great fondness to the first year with our surprise team with Adam, Cam, Herman and Laurent and how sp spe s..p…….oh I just cant go on, im getting all teary.

Race 7. Laval Triathlon 31 May 2009

After having a less than pleasant cycling experience the week before, the sight of the name Jose Jeuland on the start list, scared me almost as much as his enormously aerodynamic equipment. Enormous is probably not the best choice of word, as he is not some massive giant, but crap can he ride. A 4th place at ironman Nice with the 3rd fastest bike time is one of many results I could use as a weak excuse to attempt to explain the hammering he gave me on the bike. He was a big feature of the race last year (winning no less) so my fears were not unfounded. In the swim I stayed with Max Toin, for about 1km of swim circuit, then swam off on my own, hitting a massive boat, and cut my hand. I had not swam off in front, but rather to the side of Max, thinking I was the brainiest person in all the world by using the current, only to find a massive boat hull, which might as well have had ‘you’re a dickhead’ spray painted on it, blocking my way. I spent the remainder of the swim fruitlessly attempting to get back to Max, and left the water 13 seconds behind him. I had watched the Cesson girls, Claire, Charlotte and Alexandra, in the sprint race that morning and saw many riders get on their bikes on the gravel exit of the transition. It was a little sketchy, but no one crashed (I think!) and it sure beat running 200m over the rocks, so in the race, thinking I was again very smart, I did the same. I had told Max of this cleaver advantage and as we approached the road we were presented with a lovely stop and go penalty. On the first major climb I lost Max so spent the remainder of the bike leg alone (I was almost joined momentarily by some dickhead coming the other way, who cut the course and managed to haphazardly steer his bike head on between the lead motorbike and me, where was his stop and go penalty??). At halfway you follow the course back into the heart of Laval, turn at transition and commence the second lap, giving you, your only real chance to see where everyone is. I saw Max and a guy from Gonfreville tri team in 2nd and 3rd, a few others a little later then Jose with Nicholas Tharreau a fair while back. I was estimating the gap at around 2 minutes, or perhaps more so rode the second lap thinking ‘huh, not this year jose, I am the best bike rider in all the world’. Well, those lofty visions of grandeur were all in my dreams, as I put my bike in my transition place just 15 seconds ahead of a Max and with Jose just behind that!!! Eeeek. On the run I was getting all kinds of time splits that Jose was gaining fast, gaining slow, just behind me or he was knitting a nice wool jumper. I could see him at some points but couldn’t be sure it was him or a lapped runner and I didn’t want to spend too much energy running like a emu with my head turned right around. It was not until the third and final lap that I was given the news he was a bit more than a minute behind, which was great as my legs were feeling as fresh as the baguette I had left to cook on the bus dashboard. In the wash up, I was first, Jose second and Max third. For our team Nicho Leroy claimed 11th, Jerome Louapre 12th and Manu Ripoche 56th, which was enough to get a podium by team…..yipppppy. Please note that at no time did Alexandra put her feet on the ground.

Race 6. Dinan Triathlon. May 24 2009

With some kind of sadistic irony, the clouds parted and the sun beat down in a mirror of the hell hot conditions from one year ago. Everyone stood encapsulated in their wetsuits listening to the briefing to the Dinan triathlon, centimeters from the tantalizing cool waters, yet compelled to stand in the heat through fear of the red card. The course was the same too. One big swim lap, two transition areas (one at the bottom and one at the top of the massive hill), 3 laps on the bike and then 2 staggering run laps up the hill, to finish inside the courtyard of the .. …well, I don’t know what it is, but its very pretty and very old. The swim went pretty much to plan. I swam with Max Toin, got out the water 30ish seconds behind the freak swimmer from Redon tri, and took off in chase on the bike. By 10km Max and I were in the lead and clear. I had been told the guy from Redon could run quick, so I wanted to clear out. I told Max the same thing and he agreed, so I rode strong on the front, then he did the same. And he stayed there! For the remainder of the 40km bike ride I felt my legs become more and more tired, and watched Max get smaller and smaller in the distance, until he looked a little like a small fluorescent canary on the horizon. Again, just like last year I was forced to pick up the pace and I managed to move my bike forward enough to enter transition as Max was leaving. I passed Raph (our team manager) at the bottom of the hill and he gave me the thrilling news the Nicholas Tardieu was catching me at a great speed. Great now I was tired and scared! Some of the oldies watching the race gave me some bravo cheers, and I questioned if it was because I looked as though I was about to stop and walk, they felt sorry for me, or they thought I was doing some sort of impressionist dance called ‘wounded Panda’. Either way it was around this time I had to assess the speed I was or was not running at. I would like to say I took off and was a great hero bla, bla, bla, but the real story was, as the run continued, Max slowed and I passed him at whatever speed I was creeping at. It was enough to win the race, and I rewarded myself by consuming far too many of the free yogurts, to maintain a normal posture, at the refreshment tent. Max had done enough on the bike to finish second and Nicholas Tardieu (who was not in fact closing in on the bike or run, but scared me none the less) claimed third.

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